Rent the absolute cheapest apartment/mobile-home you can find in a non-bonkers state. Register car there. Forward your mail to CA. No utilities, no nothing, just the bare minimum so you can register a vehicle to a physical address. Best option would be to pay a friend or hire a retiree looking for some extra bingo money.
Biggest asspain of this solution is the initial registration will require the car physically be at the DMV to verify VIN...but then you rid yourself of the bullshit once and for all.